| Harvard | Local | National | International | Miscellaneous | Editorials |
|
Inside this Issue
Deaf, Dumb, Blind Kid Surprisingly Shitty at Pinball Jews for Jesus Also for Romney Obama to Area Loser: No, You Can't McCain absent on campaign trail since discovering Warcraft Hooters Mascot Crushed to Death by Epic Boobs Defective Chinese Chemistry Kit Filled With Chemicals From The Archives
Rick Astley Gave Me Up, Let Me Down: Rick Astley, of internet fame and suave and sexy looks, seems like a great guy when you only know him from a YouTube video. But beware: his spotless shine is solely the result of the reflective surface of your computer monitor. Read More Featured Personal Ad
Seeking: Nothing other than what I've been trying to be lately. gavin@yardfest.org |
Miscellaneous
Scientist Claims Other Weapons Besides Shotgun Effective Against Zombies
Satire V's Advice for Summer Internships
How to land that perfect summer job.
Read More
Cab Driver Not Sure Where He’s Supposed to Use the Bathroom
Five hours into his first day as a cab driver, Scott McKinney is already uncertain as to whether he will continue in the profession.
Read More
Kid Hopeful That Forged Note Will Get Him Out of Field Day
Fifth grader Mikey Lawless is hopeful that he has finally penned the note that will allow him to skip his school’s Field Day.
Read More
Trojan Releases Penis Flavored Condom
The world of flavored condoms was rocked yesterday as Trojan released a secret flavor long in development. The new "penis flavored" condoms come at the head of extensive scientific research into men's nether regions.
Read More
Elmo Celebrates 21st Birthday
Tragic Death Inspires New Lifetime Movie
Not all hope was lost for Bertha Rinskertang after she failed to hang herself and accidentally fell off a 30 story building into a rusty junkyard. Indeed, the 14 year-old aspiring actress may posthumously get the fame she craved now that the Lifetime Network has announced their intentions to create a movie in honor of her tragic and unexpectedly pathetic death.
Read More
50,000th Member Joins “Save Darfur” Facebook Group
We are not so different, you and I, reports Arch-Enemy
In what is widely regarded as a last-ditch effort to distract you while he retrieves a small pistol concealed in an ankle holster, your arch-enemy has reported that you and he are not so different.
Read More
Jesus’ Last Supper More Like Last Buffet
After centuries of scholarly analysis, art historians have concluded that Jesus’ last meal was “less a simple supper and more an all-you-can-eat, Vegas-style gluttony fest.”
Read More
|