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Inside this Issue
Man Not Mugged on Late-Night Cambridge Common Stroll Defective Chinese Chemistry Kit Filled With Chemicals Knuckle Sandwich More Knuckle Than Sandwich Manicurist Files Suit Eyes, Nose and Mouth - Still in Fashion! Area cloud looks like kitty From The Archives
Dumb Joke by Hot Girl Gets Big Laughs Anyway: Sally Vernon, a busty Central High School junior, wowed members of the school’s football team last week with a rather underwhelming joke. Read More Featured Personal Ad
Seeking: Long-term recession Down_with_USA@yahoo.com |
Local
Knee-Jerk Liberal Tears ACL
Teacher Hopeful That Mitochondria Rap Will Make Biology Cool
AP Lit Teacher Doesn’t Correct Evelyn Waugh Sex Joke
In a desperate attempt to fill his quota, Knibb High class clown Johnny Skeaky made a Hail Mary joke about a topic that he wasn’t terribly informed.
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Transvestite Wants Both Parts
Area woman Christina Houngh, sometimes referred to as area man Chris Houngh, will be trying out for both parts in the two-person play, Kindergarten.
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Area Asshole will get Song Stuck in Your Head
“Stop it,” you exclaim, turning to the asshole next to you, humming Miley Cyrus’s current hit.
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Area Man Says The Word ‘Movie’ Funny
An enterprising group of young adults discovered that one among them says the word ‘movie’ in a totally hilarious way.
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Local Man Isn’t Sure How to Get into The Olympics, But Will Give it a Shot Anyway
Notorious Wife Beater to Starbucks: “You Call This Shit Coffee?”
Twinkie Defense Pretty Much Explains Area Man’s Entire Life
After many years of fumbling to find an excuse for his ineffectual life, John Stottard has struck gold.
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Area Mom Wants You to Try Her Banana Bread
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