Simple Tips for Every Woman

Miscellaneous - 2007

No matter what type of body you have, whether slim, curvy, or heavyset, there's a way for you to dress it up nicely. Here are some tips for problematic body types:

Short: If you're shorter than average, wear something that will draw people's attention away from your height. Like a short skirt. I'm talking obscenely short. If people are talking about your vagina, they're not focusing on your height.

Tall: Isn't it amazing that the solution for women who are very short is the same for women who are very tall? You too should just wear obscenely short skirts.

Large Stomach: I have a simple DIY solution: find a big packing box. Cut off the top and the bottom. Pull it over your midsection. Problem solved and not a penny spent! You can't get a better bargain than that, you thrifty girl.

Broad Shoulders: Another fun DIY: cut out the Gisele Bundchen mask attached at the bottom of this page. Wear it sometimes. If people start asking questions, just tell them it's none of their business. You should never let anyone make you feel bad about your choices.

Large Hips: Consider investing in a girdle. That way, you'll be able to create a lovely silhouette, the silhouette of a smaller, more attractive woman.

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