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Freshman Wears Lanyard Despite Having Nothing to Hang from It Area Kenyan Just Running from his Problems Ike Turner Beats Tina to Death Polar Bears Urged "Keep Treading Water" Child Unable to Find Candy, Puppies in Stranger's Van UC Spends Entire Budget Funding UC Presidential Campaigns From The Archives
Trojan Releases Penis Flavored Condom: The world of flavored condoms was rocked yesterday as Trojan released a secret flavor long in development. The new "penis flavored" condoms come at the head of extensive scientific research into men's nether regions. Read More Featured Personal Ad
Seeking: Hitting, pitching, lower expectations. Tigers@mlb.com |
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Area Blue Artist Wants You Back, BabyLocal - 2008 Area blues musician Robert “Gloomy Tunez” Thomson used his latest release, “Scowlin’ at the Moon,” to inform the public that he wants you back, baby. He went on to indicate that he does not mean maybe. Thomson, who first received national attention in 2003 when you were “Sneakin Round at Night,” asserts that, were you to rekindle your relationship with him, he would have nothing to lose but the blues. Sources indicate that you up and left without sayin’ a word, and closed the door quiet so nobody heard. “You left me for some kind of lawyer or somethin’,” he laments, “but all that I know is that I need your lovin’.” The sentence, which usually wouldn’t rhyme, rhymes when Thomson says it. Tunez then cryptically added “Make it talk, son,” and proceeded to shred for like two and a half minutes.
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