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Bootleg Osama bin Laden Tape Released in China 3 Weeks Early Putin Claims Victory for 2012 Elections Ralph Nader Runs Against Area Kenyan ESPN to Host World Waterboarding Competition Area cloud looks like kitty Point: Heath Ledger's death is not funny. Counterpoint: Why so serious? From The Archives
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Article
Mark Foley: Serial Facebook Poker
Foley's Facebook Profile
National - 2007 PALO ALTO, CA — According to a report released by Mark Zuckerberg, Mark Foley (R-Florida) has poked an extraordinary 40,000 underage males on Facebook. “First I thought Mini-feed announcing when I shat was scary. Then I got poked by Mark Foley,” said Tom Baker, a 17-year-old Facebook user. “What’s next? Facebook telling me I just got fingered by Mark Foley?” In light of these events, several new groups have been created; prominent among them: “The Official Group with the Official Petition to Officially Kick Mark Foley off Facebook. Officially,” which boasts 700,000 members, 30 of whom know who Mark Foley is, and “If Five People Join this Group, Mark Foley Will Molest Darfur.” “I’m a little freaked out,” said Eric Michaels, a member of the group and a Foley victim. I mean I guess I should’ve seen it coming when I got a message saying ‘You’re hottt. Get back 2 me with penis size. Xoxo, MAF.’ But I figured it was standard policy for hiring Capitol Hill interns. But a poke? Where the fuck is he poking me?” There is no word yet on any plans for Foley to leave Facebook, but sightings of Foley taking pictures of himself at odd angles with a digital camera seem to indicate an imminent shift to MySpace. |