| Harvard | Local | National | International | Miscellaneous | Editorials |
|
Inside this Issue
Freaky Art Teacher's Class Begins at Daybreak Mold: It's a Growth Industry NBC Picks up Girls Gone Man vs. Wild Oysters Not Aphrodesiac for local Homosexual Bootleg Osama bin Laden Tape Released in China 3 Weeks Early Pat Robertson Mistakenly Calls for Pat Robertson's Assassination From The Archives
Television Station for Controversial Programming: "Controversial Network, Unethical Television," a new station intended to provide only morally bankrupt content, debuted earlier this month, and early ratings reports indicate that the station will be a success Read More Featured Personal Ad
Seeking: Necks for snappin' Arny@gov.ca.gov |
Article
France Surrenders to Ennui
President Hohnhohnhohn
International - 2008 France shocked the world on Sunday when they raised the figurative white flag and surrendered to the ruthless, ever-encroaching, and yet maddeningly- abstract forces of ennui.According to eyewitnesses, French president Jean-Jacques-Nicolas-François Hohnhohnhohn emerged from his post-second-breakfast sieste and, his yawn quavering with emotion, made a vague, indifferent, somewhat ambiguous gesture with a white napkin he had tucked into his shirt-front after his last meal. When one of his scantily-clad servant- boys asked him what was the matter, Hohnhohnhohn declared “C’est finit,” then took a long swig of a decidedly- nutty 2005 Bourdeaux from his hip flask and nibbled absentmindedly on a corner of moldy Brie cheese. President Hohnhohnhohn then heaved a long sigh, gave his white surrender- napkin another absent-minded flick, and collapsed into a chair and commenced whispering indecipherable, French-sounding phrases beneath his breath, pausing only to take a drag on his cigarette or, on occasion, to adjust his beret or absently twirl his slick, curly moustache. When asked to comment on this earthshaking event, the rest of Europe did not notice anything different. |